Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the White House,
Obama was pacing, Beck sure is a louse.
The stockings were hung with holes in Health Care,
And hopes that Olympia Snowe would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of IPods danced in their heads.
Michelle in her beauty and he in his cap,
Each settled in for a short winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew in a dash,
His own Secret Service gets way too much cash!

The moon on the breast of globe-warming snow
Gave credence to nay-sayers and emails below.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But hackers and slackers old Rahm should have cleared.

With health care so close, he ran oh so fastly,
And knew in a moment it must be Chuck Grassley.
More rapid than eagles his discoursers came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name!

“Now Thune! now McCain, now Palin the vixen!
On Hannity, Limbaugh, this bill I am fixin’!
To the top of the porch! Get off of my wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that fall before new public option,
When met with an obstacle, they threw their old stocks in.
So up to the house-top discoursers they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys and Tiger Woods too.

And then in an inkling, he heard on the roof,
The prancing and cawing, now there is your proof!
As he drew in his head, and was turning around
Down the chimney came Medicare with nary a sound.

It was dressed all in funding from bottom to top,
Its words were all sooty, please now can I stop!
Like a bundle of joy he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were not sunken, he rose like Chuck Berry.
His droll little mouth drawn up in a smile,
And he gave him a shave not had in a while.

He sprang to his desk, to his team gave a holler,
And in they all flew, now looking quite taller.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he dove out of sight,
Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night!

—cher