Even Now…
Even now at this hour, at this time in my life, I have sought knowledge, friendships, and connections with unambiguous flairs in my naiveté. One might think to first tread carefully as my prime is long passed being stripped from Adam’s rib. But let’s look at the person who now exists in this capsule. Appearance: Check. Okay—thin, fit, sometimes chic. Intellect: Check—slightly above average, reads a lot, studies, has life experience. Personality: (this one gets tricky). Let’s say—average due to shy nature. Okay, basics covered. Now where do I fit in? 
To be honest with you, I do not quite “fit in.” I was woman who was heard to roar through a purported glass ceiling, and then was sexually assaulted by a boss who left shards in my psyche. I was mother nurturing children, some who now refuse to call because, “We don’t call these days, Mom. Text me.” I am wife who is loving and devoted. I am blogger because I like to write. Social media? Not on Facebook because it looks like it’s for kids and seems trifling. I could be wrong, grant you, but what is the point, really? I always aspired to be a woman of substance, refusing to become part of womens coffee klatches and inane gossip.
So where have I gone wrong, she asks again. Well, I do not own a Blackberry or an iPod or an iPad. I still listen to CD’s and would never consider Sirius radio. When my kids recount stories to me about Howard Stern’s schtick, I don’t get it. They are dismayed by my lack of laughter. And connections? Well, those seem to be people who link to my blog and I to theirs…for a while. For reasons unknown, we move on to new and different links. We disconnect and are no longer “friends.” Where has my substance gone, this long time passing? I think I have the answer.
I have been bitch-slapped by time. The rascal crept up on me when I was busy trying to be hip or “in.” Now I am irrelevant, having done those things expected of me in my time, and reaching for affirmation. Yet even here, even now at this hour in my life, I will still seek, but it will not be for affirmation. Here, at this time in my life, I will enjoy the passage. Even now….
—cher
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Who says you’ve gone wrong at all? You are what you are and should be darned proud of it!
I, for one, love and enjoy what you are.
We all slowly travel the road to obsolescence. Why not just enjoy the trip?
Bluzdude,
You are such a good friend! And you are right. I am just going to enjoy the rest of this trip!
you still roar … and now perhaps to the people who really wish to listen … and your wonderful …
Beth,
Ah, sweet Beth, you made my day. You are just one of those ‘friends’ I truly hope to keep over time. You are a gift. Thanks so much for the uplifting thoughts.
Think of it this way – the only alternative to getting older isn’t so great!
There are lots of us still listening to CDs and to you (well deserved, I’d say).
So, chin up girl, you’re far away from being ready for the grave!
Ah..time…damn time…..to reach that point of just taking ones time and feeling comfortable with the pace no matter what it is. ……I’m ready to swing in a hammock and want to hear the music of Pink Floyd coming out of the sky as if they were playing on a cloud……Time..maby this economy will give us a chance to truly enjoy time.
Cher, do you need a laxative? Get all that bad stuff out of your system NOW! We are cosmic twins! We are just starting to have all that fun that we were too young to appreciate way back when! I am home now, and need some HAPPY!
XOXO,
J.
Most of the time I think that my search for affirmation was something that I left behind in high school (along my awful 80′s big hair) but I am coming to realize that there is always a part of us that is searching to belong. I love your perspectives, and you are always current on every issue that matters. Staying current on your own terms without having to be part of every trend, I think that this is what aging gracefully is all about. (although you still have many years before I will associate you with the word aging)
Chris J,
You are my inspiration! You are always so kind and giving, a complete treasure.
KAK,
What sweet thoughts…’swinging in a hammock and listening to Pink Floyd as if they were playing on a cloud.’ I love that visual!
Judie,
OMG and LOL! No I don’t need a laxative, but maybe I do need to purge. In spite of some of my statements, these really are good days. I think part of my angst, limited though it may be, is that I was used to a frenetic lifestyle. I need to learn how to relax and simply enjoy.
I missed you a lot and it is grand having you back. My thoughts have been with you and Rod in this difficult time. Hugs….
Tina T,
You always have such amazing wisdom. I read your blog and soak in your thoughts. You made some very profound statements here today (as always) and I will read them again and again. I don’t feel like I am “aging”–whatever that is supposed to feel like, but I do know that I am seeing life through a different lens. I need to realize that perspective at this age can be a positive rather than a negative. Thank you so much for lending your insights. I needed them today.
To all:
Okay. I joined Facebook yesterday! Maybe I’m making strides. We’ll see. “Time” will tell.
Not relevent? Pshaw. Don’t believe for a moment that using technological trinkets makes one relevant. (Nor does Howard Stern, just don’t tell him.) Use those things if they help you to live your life. Eschew them the moment they become something you do just to try and “keep up.”
You made me look up the word. Relevant means “bearing upon or connected with the matter at hand.” Thus, it has nothing to do with the past or the future, but what is “at hand.” In other words, you can only control today. Without trying to sound like Oprah or Tony Robbins, today is your gift. And I’d say that today, you one pretty relevant chica.
Well, I guess I can cross the Sirus radio off of the list of gift ideas I had brewing for Christmas, mothers day, birthdays.. etc…… With your love of music, I would have pegged you as a prime candidate for Sirius ownership… I’m not always right….
But, I do know that you’re selling yourself short… You, my love, have a lot of “bitch-slapping” left in you… Find your inner bi-otch… and beat the shit out of time!!!!!!!
I’d have to agree with you on the Facebook comments…. I struggle with this everyday… Often, I contimplate leaving this “social network” as it seeems to be nothing but mindless troubles…. My problem is that I’ve grown addicted to playing the mindless games on the site during my downtime. I need a new hobby….. What happened to a good old fashioned game of checkers? Ahhhh… The kids don’t even find board games entertaining anymore…. technology seems to have ruined this, too….
I love you, and hope you have a “bitch’n” day!!!!!!
Well, I knew that. But a high colonic never hurt anyone!
I missed you, too, and am THRILLED to be home again!
Rod was so organized and persistent as executor that he had everything done by Thursday, and we left on Friday to return our daughter’s car to New Orleans, and eat at one of our favorite hangouts before coming home on Sunday night.
I have a new post out, and am working on another one.
Carpetbagger,
Well, you made my day by telling me I’m a “relevant chica!” Your thoughts were intelligent, as well as kind. I’m soaking all this wisdom in, you know. That way I won’t need a shrink!
My Dear Tiffany,
See? I couldn’t even spell “Sirus” radio correctly! I’m not even sure what it is for heaven’s sakes. Don’t cross it off the list—yet! You are right about that inner bitch. I think she got tired and needs a shot of B-12 or Licor 43!
You, my sweet Tiff, need to get back to blogging if you’re looking for a hobby. You have so much to offer and I miss your posts, no matter how much you and I talk. You are a superb writer, so hear me muster the be-otch and get cookin’ on your blog again!
To our readers: Tiffany is my beloved daughter-in-law and a complete blessing to me in every way. She and my son Brian also just gave Rich and me a new granddaughter, our beautiful Addison Grace who was born May 31st. They are now the most fabulously blended family of 7! We adore them all.
Judie,
You were in New Orleans? I am so jealous! I will be at your blog in moments!
A high colonic? Don’t you mean gin and tonic?
We each have our own path, our own destiny. You seem right on track. So I say, keep doing what you’re doing, and stay true to yourself.
Your warm, giving nature shines through no matter what avenue you choose to use.
One of The Guys,
Thanks so much for your kind words and for always being insightful. Hugs….
Hello Cher,
No one who writes as beautifully as you do could ever be considered irrelevant. As a person who has turned fifty this year, I have had my own questions about fitting in as I try to extend my reach beyond my usual roles of husband, father, provider, etc. My creative impulses have intensified rather than waned with each passing year. I search for connectedness with people outside of my social circle that rises above the trifling aspects that seem to be the basis of social media. The type of heartfelt writing on display here in this post is encouraging because it is a genuine glimpse into a life of experience. Bravo. Ray
Dear Ray,
It is such a pleasure to see you here. Having recently discovered you at Broowaha.com, I am delighted in getting to know you through your insightful and wonderfully written articles.
I suppose that I am in a period of adjustment and that’s okay. For me, it is like trying on a new style of dress to see if it fits. I think it does and I will be comfortable.
Life is nothing if not a ride, Ray. But oh, what a ride!