Hate Crimes, Women, and The Internet
Misogyny is defined as “hatred, dislike or mistrust of women.” 
It seems that hate crimes against women are increasing as we are perceived as soft targets. One must wonder what role the Internet plays in this. Perhaps the Internet has become a place where some socially isolated men (or women) find it easy to hide behind an avatar and spew venom or prey upon others due to some latent mental pathology.
Several months ago after blogging about his angst toward women, his isolation and his anger, a man in our city shot twelve women in a fitness club. He killed three of them, and then shot himself. He had blogged about these issues since at least November of 2008. In an ideal world, those who did read that blog and failed to notify authorities should be considered complicit in these murders.
Perhaps the larger issue is the virtual world of the Internet and how many individuals are becoming more socially isolated. There are numerous social media sites and millions of blogs. As with much of technology, that brings about both good and bad. The global community is within reach. We concern ourselves with politics not only here but worldwide. We also add ‘friends’ we know very little about, but the true social aspects of our own living communities may be diminishing. The desire to know your neighbors has been replaced by Internet addresses of those whose faces we may never actually see. Neighborhoods are now defined by social media sites. People like the shooter at the fitness club get lost in the sphere of Internet-shaped ideology. He lived in a virtual world, per police accounts, but did he have the ability interact with real individuals and with women in particular?
Increasingly we have gone to virtual communities rather than building networks within our actual locales. And somehow through it all, women are becoming targets. It may be by a shooting in a gym, sexting, Internet stalking or domestic violence as validated through sites which condone heinous acts and are interpreted as alliances.
Women need to heed the warning signs. Keep in mind that anything you put on the Internet is there forever. Choose your words carefully. Perhaps we could not have thwarted someone like the shooter at the gym, but it is incumbent upon us all to raise awareness. Parents, guard your children. Husbands, guard your wives. To all of us, build and network within your own neighborhood, not just the virtual ones. Not everyone out there has virtue.
—cher
Image credit: Ronfromyor
I can’t help but think we are also affected by the way debate has changed in this country and on the media. We demonize and dehumanize our opponents. No longer do we have a healthy face-to-face debate and then go out for a beer afterward. No, now we must destroy the enemy at all cost. “They are evil and bent on destroying the country and our way of life.” This is what sells virility drugs and gold and Hot Pockets on television.
I fear it helps to create the health club shooter as well as the Richard Poplawskis who see little value in human life–including their own.
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Bagger,
All of what you said is sadly true. We are in desperate need of standard bearers and decorum in the news media and on the Internet.
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Yes Carpet bagger, you say it well, sadly the debate response today is go for the throat.
Cher I think you hit the nail on the head, social isolation is bringing the violence and harassment to a head. It is too easy on the internet to have ones own thoughts and sentiments reinforced with not even the slightest inkling of who the supporters are or their real states of mind. A false sense of “see I am right, people are agreeing with me” can even develop in virtuous ethical people. Reading the thoughts of all sides is the only way to assure one’s self of any grasp on true objectivity. As a political blogger I read the right wing Bull, objectivity has assured me it is bull.
In the case of stalkers I have experience from two seperate incidinces. One is cyber the other is actual physical, and one does wonder when cyber will turn physical. At what point is a demented cyber stalker going to pick up the “I’ll show him” take action attitude. The cowards stay behind the computer but will false brave moments manifest themselves? One never knows.
I could tell you stories but this is not the place to, I can make one point to women as a point of defense. In my case of actual stalking, I was in most danger at work so I had D cell batteries all over the place. I actually hoped this guy would come after me so I could clock him in the head with a D cell and drop him. Women should carry a D cell battery(the big flashlight batteries) or two in their purse. This guy did attack me, of course I’m no where near my D cells but with one blow I did break his ribs and walk away leaving him on the ground crying, yes crying, these brave “men”.
Yes Cher you make a good point, we should be building more community networks and participating in neighborhood activities. The crazies are out there and in most cases their identities would surprise us.
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KAK,
Thank you so much for sharing these stories. People need to realize that these events do take place. Internet stalking is probably more frightening because there is no face to confront. These people do not deal in reality, which I’m sure, is marginalized in their lives. I will be adding more to my comment to you later. I try very hard not react from the gut, but to consider issues, think them through and react with whatever modicum of intellect one is able on this issue. Take care, my friend. Until tomorrow…
My best to you,
cher
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Oh Cher, great post and very informative. many women become targets and don’t even see the paint coming. it worries me that so called “geeky isolationism” is seen as some kind of 2000 monkdom. not in the least. it also seems to triger a warning bell that says “Hey Why Is This Egg Rolling Away From the Basket? ”
too often today people appear to be self absorbed yet they’re really pathological patients waiting to implode and then explode on society. remember Colombine; the signs were there.
does the healthcare bill provide some help for these walking timebombs the fauxnewsers are creating ?
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You mention one of the reasons I’m so looking forward to our PIttsburgh meet up… That will be the day we all go from blog-friends to “friend” friends.
It is funny how meeting with people face to face changes things. I know with one of my former jobs, it was pretty easy to turn down or fuss over various emailed requests… but once we started actually meeting the people with whom we were dealing, our interactions became much more constructive.
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Good post. You’re right, we must take care always. The internet is misogyny’s newest venue and a very effective one.
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RE,
I think both of us are strong women—you more so than I am. Therefore it is important for those of us who are “aware” to raise the level of intellectual sobriety in other women so they are not so vulnerable. It is those who lurk about on the Internet that concern me. Stalking may be one of the best kept secrets about what is going on. It does exist and we need to put an end to it.
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Bluzdude,
We are so looking forward to meeting you. You are a hometown guy who writes with his good heart, spirit and lots of fun. The Internet can provide real friends, but I think that is rare. Are your folks going to be there? I would love to meet them too.
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Chris J,
Your comment is spot on. I have seen women berated and then so disheartened that they leave blogging altogether. The crazies win when that happens.
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Great post Cher! You are so right. More and more these days I am being careful about how much I reveal on line but I sometimes feel I am not careful enough.
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Cher,
Yes, there’s a good chance the folks will be there too. They were definitely warm to the idea. The only barrier may be if some kind of unforeseen family business or other request for their time gets in the way.
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Emm,
Thanks so much for weighing in. We all need to be more cautious, don’t we?
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Bluz,
Either way, we are looking forward to seeing you. Our best to your parents.
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mandy Southgate, Dorothylaf. Dorothylaf said: Hate Crimes, Women, and The Internet http://bit.ly/dkagMf via @AddToAny [...]
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Superb and very well written awareness post. The Internet…just another one of mans steps taking him on that downward spiral to self-destruction.
AS a chat-room monitor 12 years ago when chat-rooms were becoming the newest ‘Cheers Bar’..I was already aware of just how easily people became homeward bound within their computer walls. I was witness to way too many situations where hearts were broken due to lies and deception quicker than it would ever happen in real life.
Women were all to eager to find a man who they deemed ‘perfect’ and risked not only their heart but their homes and their savings as well.
Getting to your point in regards to women being used as targets for abuse and harassment even death..The Internet most certainly created new roads at a much faster pace through the its ‘Internet Highway’…but since the time that research can dictate from…women have been used as the “soft target”. To this day we have been trying to figure out just how to stop this. The feminist movement had this on their agenda…although they took it a bit too far in some instances by using the fight fire with fire reasoning which most of us know has a no-win end result.
I believe also that the sick mind will find a way to express him/herself no matter what the venue.
All in all there is some good from the Internet as in everything out there…it is more about what each individual intends to look for~
So we continue to try and put an end to this century long mindset that women are targets. Lets hope that we do see the end to this archaic way of being~
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D,
Thank you for you most valuable insights. In truth, I do not believe women can create a change for the better regarding Internet harassment, stalking, etc., until men get on the bandwagon and join the ranks of those who see this as untenable. As it affects their girlfriends, wives and daughters, men need to realize that to protect is the very essence of machismo.
In light of that, I am putting out a challenge, here and now for one man or many, to post about this very issue. Until men realize that they can be part of the solution, too many will be part of the problem. So, to the men among our readers, please consider writing about this issue and take a step forward in a role of leadership. We await your response….
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This is a serious topic and a good one to discuss.
We’ve been talking about how technology is causing us to be more isolated rather than connecting us more. Sure people can connect to anyone in the world, but really what kind of conversation or relationship can they really have? It’s virtual as you say.
In some ways the internet makes it easier to catch the hate mongers because many of these people are totally open about it. It’s up to us to at least alert the appropriate people about what’s going on.
THE GUYS and I will ponder this topic and see how we might address it on our site. Thanks.
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I do think that the internet provides an outlet for people that are isolated to live in their own reality. People who hopefully would have felt that they were odd or that something was not right with themselves because they had strange violent thoughts can now connect with other like minded people on the internet and come away feeling that there are other people just like them instead of feeling like they are the disturbed individuals that they are.
Women and children are definitely the most vulnerable targets to these crimes. I am shocked at the things that women share on the internet for all to see without giving it a second thought. I simple thing like using the LinkedIn calendar to show that you or your husband is away on a business trip, is fine to share with your closest work contacts, but what about all the people that are now aware that your house is empty, or worse yet, that you are home alone? When I point things out like this to other women, especially moms, they’re always so surprised at how vulnerable they’ve made themselves. I think they’ve spent so much time worrying about their kids staying safe online that they forget about themselves.
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One of The Guys,
Thanks so much for your response. I guess one of my questions to you would be, who are the appropriate people to alert? How do you stop hate mongers from switching IP addresses or posing as one of us on other blogs? Have you ever attempted to contact Google directly, for example? Impossible. There are stalkers, to be sure, and they are smart as well as malevolent. They are also bottom feeders.
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Tina T,
Excellent points about people putting too much about their personal lives on the Internet. It leaves them totally vulnerable to unsavory characters.
I know that some people are concerned about the government monitoring the Internet. I am not one of them. If you have nothing to hide then why worry. I hope that somehow they can catch these people who love hiding in the shadows and victimizing women, children and actually some men. It is not always limited to gender. My fear is that it will only get worse.
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Some additional advice on self defense battery. Although D cells are my personal choice the AA battery can be quite effective for throwing longer distances while the AAA is just simply too small. Some have advocated small automotive batteries and although I see the advantage of their large mass they are quite cumbersome especially for a very thin aging smoker such as myself. All in all I would choose the D battery as my personal favorite for clocking would be attackers in the head. My biggest fear would be a younger, stronger attacker taking that D cell from me and ramming it down my throat or worse places…
I’m writing several articles that specifically outline self defense by battery.
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Cher,
We’re going to posting something on our blog either tonight or tomorrow.
Hope all is well.
Thanks,
Sai
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Sai,
You are simply the best! I look forward to reading it.
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Superb and very well written awareness post. The Internet…just another one of mans steps taking him on that downward spiral to self-destruction.
AS a chat-room monitor 12 years ago when chat-rooms were becoming the newest ‘Cheers Bar’..I was already aware of just how easily people became homeward bound within their computer walls. I was witness to way too many situations where hearts were broken due to lies and deception quicker than it would ever happen in real life.
Women were all to eager to find a man who they deemed ‘perfect’ and risked not only their heart but their homes and their savings as well.
Getting to your point in regards to women being used as targets for abuse and harassment even death..The Internet most certainly created new roads at a much faster pace through the its ‘Internet Highway’…but since the time that research can dictate from…women have been used as the “soft target”. To this day we have been trying to figure out just how to stop this. The feminist movement had this on their agenda…although they took it a bit too far in some instances by using the fight fire with fire reasoning which most of us know has a no-win end result.
I believe also that the sick mind will find a way to express him/herself no matter what the venue.
All in all there is some good from the Internet as in everything out there…it is more about what each individual intends to look for~
So we continue to try and put an end to this century long mindset that women are targets. Lets hope that we do see the end to this archaic way of being~
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[...] Upon visiting one of our favorite blogs, AskCherlock, we read a piece entitled Hate Crimes, Women and the Internet. [...]
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Amy,
You bring much to the table of this discussion. Your comments deserve to be read and studied, for there is truth in all you stated. Thank you for your excellent contribution.
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Thank you for a very insightful post that touches upon a very meaningful and important message to us all. To be more aware, to reach out in kindness, and to connect -not just in cyberspace- but in real life.
I am coming close to a year of blogging. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet three other bloggers in person. It really is rewarding to meet the face behind the blog.
I’d like to believe most people really do try to be who they are online as in person (and the ones I met were), but some take advantage and use it for misguided purposes.
I think we need to all be kind online and in person. We need to remember to listen and let our instincts guide us.
Praying your awareness reaches the heart of others. Great post
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Angelia Sims,
Thank you so much for your insightful words and kind thoughts. I have been honored to make some very good friends through blogging. I do hope that this post will raise some awareness. That is the beauty of blogging, isn’t it?
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can’t live with them without them.. And love to hate them.. Bless them all
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