Fifteen year old Phoebe Price had moved with her family from Ireland to South Hadley, Massachusetts. As with all teenagers, she wanted to fit in. That was not to happen. Reports from Northwestern Districts Attorney Elizabeth D. Scheibel stated , “Phoebe spent her last day alive tormented by classmates at school. Some of the bullies taunted her and threatened her as she walked home. Their conduct far exceeded the limits of normal teenage relationship- related quarrels. The investigation revealed relentless activity directed toward Phoebe designed to humiliate her and make it impossible for her to remain at school.” Phoebe’s plight ended when she hanged herself in a closet in the stairway leading to her family’s house. She was found by her twelve year old sister.
Three of the nine classmates charged in connection with Phoebe’s death will be tried as adults. That is as it should be. Two of the three are 18 years old and are charged with statutory rape. A 17 year old girl has been charged with criminal harassment. The investigation continues and others may be charged. What drives these children to such heinous acts?
Some reports speculate that bullies are looking for attention and that this is a way to be more popular. Some may come from families in which anger and lack of positive resolution is the norm. Most bullies do not care about the feelings of others, and consequences of these acts do not enter their minds. While most schools have anti-bullying policies, this wretched behavior continues. Perhaps teachers and parents need to be better trained to recognize the sign and symptoms. Influences abound in the lives of teenagers, not the least of which is what they put on the Internet and social media such as Facebook, where you are considered not “in” unless you have a page there.
Certainly Phoebe has not been the only suicide committed as a result of bullying. The numbers are increasing and this is an issue which must be addressed. Personally, I would hold the parents of minors whose children are bullies accountable. Make them ante up for their lack of parenting.
- Image by ihtatho via Flickr
For this situation to end in the desperate act of suicide is achingly painful to think about. Children driving other children to end their lives so the taunting will stop is unacceptable. To parents I would say, listen to your child. Let them know they are not alone. Alert authorities that your child is being subjected to this. Find social groups such as sports or other school activities for you child to become involved. Statistics state that when teens who hang out in groups of two or more, they are less likely to be bullied. And hold schools accountable. Attend school board meetings and demand that all are aware and proactive in fighting this horrendous behavior.
Finally, if your child exhibits suicidal thoughts or behavior, contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-784-2433.
“If I ruled the world, every heart would have a new song to sing….”
—cher
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- Is your child being bullied? How to help (cnn.com)
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Tags: 18 years, abuse, activity directed toward, Adolescence, adults, anger, bullies, Bullying, classmates, consequences, criminal harassment, facebook, feelings, heinous acts, norm, old girl, parents, Phoebe Price, plight, quarrels, South Hadley Massachusetts, Statutory rape, suicide, suicide hotline numbers, suicide prevention, teachers, teenagers, violence, Violence and Abuse
My heart goes out to that poor girl and her family. I hope they throw the freakin’ book at those animals that hounded her to death.
Part of me thinks that all this bullying is the inevitable result of the general coursening of our culture. Kids see obnoxiousness and personal attacks everywhere on TV from Jersey Shore to Meet the Press, to your local tea party.
But then the other part of me knows that this kind of activity has been around long before this recent swan-dive of civility. The big difference is that it was harder to bully you back then when you weren’t face to face.
Maybe it’s something in our animal past that is not yet buried over when it comes to kids. Look at the strategy… separating a smaller or weaker one from the rest of the herd, then subjecting it to a series of cuts and slashes and just running it until it gives up. Is that not just like a pack of hyenas in the wild?
I read that the school was well aware of the situation. How is it that there was no action taken? The parents of each one of those monsters should have been dragged into school and made to explain the behavior of their demon spawn.
Thanks for giving this issue some space. As you can probably guess, this one strikes a nerve.
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bluzdude,
Your insights are so good. I had not thought about primal instincts and the herd mentality, but it truly is an interesting concept. At this moment, I would like to rid every home that has children in it from those violent video games. Who knows? Maybe there is subliminal messaging within those that allows ‘kids’ to think these attacks are viable resolutions to problems.
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When are they going to haul some of the teachers, staff, and administrators to court? Ridiculous. These people are supposed to take care of these kids.
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When I read and heard about this I was sick my seven year old grandson Noah, has Tourettes syndrome, gratefully to date it’s a mild case however, he does put up with teasing because of his twitching. I’m glad finally, there will be action taken against anyone who bullies or humiliates our children in school, there should be zero tolerance for any kind teasing or harassment to students as school should be a safe place for our kids to go.
This was a wonderful post.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
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VH,
I agree that teachers, staff and school administrators need to be held accountable. If investigations are thorough and find that some were aware but did nothing to stop these actions, they are complicit by neglect in the dire consequences.
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Dorothy S,
I believe your concern is justified. Parents need to be tuned into their children and watch for warning signs of bullying. Zero tolerance is the only acceptable way of addressing this.
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I agree with Bluzdude, but think it’s not just children who act like hyenas – divide and conquer (with or without violence) is a tried and true strategy of people generally.
And we do have a coarsening of culture; again as Bluzdude points out, there is very little civil debate – only shouting and bullying in the institutions that should be examples to everyone.
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This case is heart breaking. As the mom of a teen boy and soon to be teen, it really hits home. As much as the school obviously needed to do more, especially since some of the “bullying” fell under making threats which is a crime, I do think that it starts with the parents. I heard a brief interview with the mother of one of the girl bullies who at some point had been suspended for her actions. The mom definitely had the attitude that her daughter had served her time in suspension, and she really sounded offended that the bullies were being blamed for this suicide. I couldn’t help but think “and therein lies the problem, because how could a mother describe the situation so coldly when another mother’s daughter is dead (her attitude made me sick.)
I was also shocked to hear that these kids posted horrible things to her memorial page because what parent on earth would allow their kid internet privileges after they took part in something so disgraceful. Now the courts will have to dole out the punishments since these teens obviously did not have any consequences to their behavior from their own parents. Kids don’t bully at this level unless they have gotten away for years and years.
Very sad, and it makes my heart ache, and of course makes me fear for my own children.
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Chris J,
” a coarsening of our culture.” How very apt. One needs only to look at the militias sprouting up; the taunts of racial implications during the presidential election; and those arguing that we should not provide any means of health care to “lazy takers” of the system. All of this trickles into the core of families and the children who become weeds rather than flowers. In some way I suppose we are all to blame, but I lay the burden of what happens to children who are bullied directly at the feet of their parents.
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Tina T,
You are such a wise woman and I am quite certain a wonderful mother. Children do not learn the consequences of their actions without parental guidance. Being a parent must be kindred to driving these days. You know that you are a good driver. It’s the others on the road you have to watch out for.
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Excellent Post Cher, and very timely too.
Criminality amongst children seems to be at an all time high; especially in matters concerning school. bullying has a devastating effect on everyone who is caught up. the adults have the supreme responsibility to step in when they see it; even when it appears harmless. harm is always caused when kids have another group against them, even if it’s labeled “harmless kidstuff”. there is no such thing. it’s recently come to clarity, but if we look back, it was there all the time. we all saw it, and all had to deal with it in our own way at our own time.
I stepped up and had a physical fight when I really didn’t want to. I was told that if I didn’t do it, that I’d be pushed around forever – so I beat the bejesus out of the girl, who had the nerve to follow me to my house. when we arrived there and my mom saw the crowd of kids and the girl calling me names, I told my mom what happened. She opened the porch door and said if she hit you – then you are right to defend yourself. this was 1970. that was all it took; My Mom’s Okay to Go To War.
I beat that girl till I’m sure my panties were wet. sorry but some of us have the excitement issue. violence can change a childs mind in many ways. after I beat the girl badly while the neighbors and the crowd watched, along with my mom on our front porch; My mom got a washcloth for the girl to wash up.
Then Mom made me give her one of my tops, since I tore hers off literally. Then after calling the girls house, my mom walked both of us to the girls home, and knocked on the door and told her mom what happened. her mom thanked my mom.
Her mom also asked me if I was hurt. aside from a few scratches that her daughter managed to sneak in – I was basically boo boo free. that proved to her mom that her daughter was a whole lotta mouth and would probably be a problem in the future. the girl was also made to apologize to both my mom and to me right then on the spot. and yes some of the kids in the crowd followed us to the girls home to see the conclusion. woww.
can you imagine that happening today ? probably not but if it did I can be sure it would dissolve alot of these childhood violence issues. My Granddaughter takes karate now, and I took boxing classes as an adult; so we don’t have any problems with people thinking we won’t defend ourselves. usually people look at us as protectors since we are self assured in our demeanor, always.
No guy can’t gas We Up; is our family motto on violence.
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ausetkmt,
Obviously you took the reins and stopped that girl from bullying you. Thank goodness that put an end to it for you. Imagine the shy, retiring kids who don’t have your oomph. They cannot stand up to people and the adults who should, don’t. And these days, the kids are bullying on social networks. Unless they are raised with character instilled in them and proper values, how can this train be stopped?
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