Rush Limbaugh wants to buy the Rams, eh? I have a better idea. Since el Rushbo hates Liberals, is a racist, a homophobe, and does not think women like football, I have decided to create a fantasy football team for Limbaugh that will put him in a league of his own. With “talent on loan from God,” Limbaugh can call the shots. It is his money, after all, so let’s help him out here. Oh yeah, the team will be called The Dittophobes.
Center: Hannity gets some autonomy because he likes to direct the efforts of the other members of the Offensive Line. You saw how he tackled Alan Colmes, didn’t you?
Offensive Guard: Glenn Beck is a natural for offense. He likes to block players on either side of the center so he can do an inside running play (from Left to Right), better known as a trap or an outside running play called a sweep. He’s losing advertisers but Rush will pony-up.
Offensive Tackle: Ann Coulter in drag.
Tight End: Michael Steele in white face.
Wide Receiver: Mark Sanford is speedy at catching those passes and can be counted on with the backfield in motion. He likes to pass long but gets less yardage.
Fullback: Bill Bennett will be positioned in the middle of the field and can use his power more than running. He’s got the build and runs great downfield, though he is slowing down, according to stats. He just needs that open-field before he’s put out to pasture.
Running Back: Joe Wilson, that good ol’ boy from South Carolina, while fast on the outbursts, could cause a delay of game. But he runs directly into that defensive line.
Quarterback: Sarah Palin is positioned to take the snap with winks and golly’s and no one will sack her.
What do you think? I’m sure I’ve missed someone. If you have any suggestions or changes please feel free to add or delete. We can scramble this before Rush bids. Keep in mind that I’m just a woman. What do I know about football— except serving the snacks?
—cher
Changes/additions to line up:
Coach: Jesse Helms, master obstructionist, drafted post-mortum by bluzdude
Assistant Coach: Senator John Ensign of Nevada, also drafted by bluzdude. Ensign loves payola for his mistress, but can use it to help on the public relations side.
Personal Development Coach: Senator Robert Byrd; nominated by Harrison—-for something, so we’ll put him on the team.
Draft Picks: The inimitable John Murtha of PA can do the draft picks. Pick up the phone in the lobby, John— or keep your lobbyists in the pocket. Murtha added by Harrison.
Tags: alan colmes, Ann Coulter, backfield in motion, bill bennett, defensive line, el rushbo, fantasy football team, fullback, Glenn Beck, Hannity, homophobe, Joe Wilson, John Murtha, Mark Sanford, michael steele, offensive guard, offensive line, ol boy, running play, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah palin, white face
[...] FANTASY FOOTBALL: LIMBAUGH STYLE – askcherlock.com 10/13/2009 Rush Limbaugh wants to buy the Rams, eh? I have a better idea. [...]
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Dig up Jesse Helms for Coach. I bet he does a mean “Bear Bryant” imitation. He probably owned a houndstooth hat too.
I know a lot of players are against the Limburger owning the Rams, but if they’re smart, they’ll tell Jesse and Al to back off. “We got this, guys… please stop ‘helping’ us.”
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Copy that, Bluzdude. Jesse Helms, five-term Republican Senator from North Carolina; was Chairman of Senate Foreign Relations Committee and helped Palin see Russia from Alaska. He liked confrontation, they say. Check line-up changes.
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Now that a more positive approach to people…..
Cute!
I enjoyed that little strategy line-up
Have a great day~
~D~
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i absolutely love this! that sounds like the perfect team for him…lol! have a great day.
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Dorothy L,
Glad you liked the strategy, D. We need to do some more work on building this team, but we’re getting there!
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PJ,
Great to see you!
One of my sons is in a fantasy football league, so I just took it to another level.
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You could add Rep. Ensign of NV, when you want to run the “sneak”. He’s also good for the occasional completed pass to a teammate (‘s wife).
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Oooo, bluzdude, great catch on this one. Let’s add him!
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This is one good post and I wish we could figure out a way to get it to you know who..
LOL
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
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Dorothy Stahlnecker,
I’m so glad you liked it. You know, I was sitting here typing this in the wee small hours of the morning and chuckling! Sometimes, you just have to laugh at life’s absurdities.
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Rush might want to add Sen. Robert Byrd but I think there’s a rule against wearing a bedsheet on the field.
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That is just the funniest!! What I would give to watch this “team” actually play football…instead of playing with ideas and words to confuse and obscure!
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“he likes to direct the efforts of the other members”
we’re not sure exactly what you mean, but it doesn’t sound like Rush would approve.
Fun and clever post!
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Harrison,
That actually is funny, and I am cognizant of the issue, though Byrd has come along in his thinking.
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willoaks studio,
Wouldn’t it be a hoot to see this!
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THE GUYS,
Rush is going to have a coronary if he doesn’t lighten up. He needs a little levity in his life and we are here to help.
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Murtha could do the draft picks.
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Harrison,
You just chose one of the most (in my mind) unscrupulous Democrats. Murtha now drafted.
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